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Submitted on
November 17, 2012
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724 bytes
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(Contains: sexual themes, violence/gore and strong language)

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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I think the thing I appreciate most about your poetry is your beautiful pacing. You pull us through the whole poem, as it flows easily thought to thought, then you simply drop us- adding more emphasis to the line "It was pleading for release."

I think it's a good thing you uploaded it, even if you were scared
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
A lot of people have said that. They say that I build stuff up and then just drop it straight away. I think it's not really a skill, but people seem to love it for some bizarre reason... I wish I knew why...

I was scared for two reasons:
> Obviously the content; that's a given.
> Coming off the back of the DD, I knew people were expecting something great. I was actually debating uploading something else besides this, but I'm glad I went with this piece now.
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
I don't think it's necessarily a skill to be able to drop things off, but I wouldn't have ended this poem any other way. It's perfect the way it just stops. The reason I said my favorite thing is your pacing is because you consistently end things well and pace them so they are natural, and the reader is left thinking.

I get that. Anytime I've had a piece that's remotely popular, I worry whatever else I upload will not match up to it. But, I'm glad you chose it, too. Stay true to yourself.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
There is actually an alternate ending stanza to this.
I know - insane, right?
It was much more gory and shocking; making a pseudo-statement against the theme of the poem in general [- orgies or whatever it was].
I cut it after the line "Cutting off the horses head. / Serving it silver." made its way in.
Christ, it WAS gory...
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
Well you can't just leave me hanging like that :XD: What was the alternate ending stanza?
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Sorry dudette - I'm keeping it for another day.

Actually speaking of:
"Oh, out of curiosity, if I was to release a PDF containing unreleased poems, would you purchase it? It would be a 'donate what you want' thing - with like a 1.00 / $2.00 minimum. Your thoughts? I'm trying to gauge a consensus here..."

I'm considering doing this; what do you think?
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:iconintricately-ordinary:
intricately-ordinary Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Writer
;-; I have no monies right now. my wallet cries softly at night.

but, yes, if I had adequate cash that would be something I'd love to do :la:
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
It's still only an idea...

I have the template saved and I'm compiling it now; I'm still not sure if I'll release it, though.
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(1 Reply)
:iconlothlorien-vampyre:
lothlorien-vampyre Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
I love your poetry. It doesn't matter if the lines are vague or explicit, or if the subject is erotic or not, you write with such passion. If I could convey just a fraction of that passion into my prose...
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Just be more honest. Write about your dreams. Your fetishes. Your lovers old and new. The kind of shit you want to try when you grow up - just don't make it too personal and you'll be set.
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