I think the thing I appreciate most about your poetry is your beautiful pacing. You pull us through the whole poem, as it flows easily thought to thought, then you simply drop us- adding more emphasis to the line "It was pleading for release."
I think it's a good thing you uploaded it, even if you were scared
A lot of people have said that. They say that I build stuff up and then just drop it straight away. I think it's not really a skill, but people seem to love it for some bizarre reason... I wish I knew why...
I was scared for two reasons: > Obviously the content; that's a given. > Coming off the back of the DD, I knew people were expecting something great. I was actually debating uploading something else besides this, but I'm glad I went with this piece now.
I don't think it's necessarily a skill to be able to drop things off, but I wouldn't have ended this poem any other way. It's perfect the way it just stops. The reason I said my favorite thing is your pacing is because you consistently end things well and pace them so they are natural, and the reader is left thinking.
I get that. Anytime I've had a piece that's remotely popular, I worry whatever else I upload will not match up to it. But, I'm glad you chose it, too. Stay true to yourself.
There is actually an alternate ending stanza to this. I know - insane, right? It was much more gory and shocking; making a pseudo-statement against the theme of the poem in general [- orgies or whatever it was]. I cut it after the line "Cutting off the horses head. / Serving it silver." made its way in. Christ, it WAS gory...
Actually speaking of: "Oh, out of curiosity, if I was to release a PDF containing unreleased poems, would you purchase it? It would be a 'donate what you want' thing - with like a £1.00 / $2.00 minimum. Your thoughts? I'm trying to gauge a consensus here..."
I love your poetry. It doesn't matter if the lines are vague or explicit, or if the subject is erotic or not, you write with such passion. If I could convey just a fraction of that passion into my prose...
This conversation made me laugh! I'll admit, I am most definitely aroused by good poetry. It's too bad the guys in my life don't write poetry, else they would find themselves getting much more attention from me.... but anyway.
Jake, I am in full admiration of you. I write poetry (Im too embarrassed to upload It.. ) , but I always hold things back, afraid it is too bold or offensive. I am so in awe of your ability to be so raw. It is amazing.
I'm working on it. I couldn't write for a few years, because I was afraid too much would come out. If I acknowledged my reality on paper, it would be real, and I couldn't handle that. Denial was my release, now writing is.
You really need to get the fuck out of that mindset. Is that paper going to judge you? Is it going to take away your air supply just because you've done something immoral or love somebody you shouldn't? No. Get the fuck over it and write about it. Hell, if I didn't, have the stuff in my Gallery wouldn't even exist otherwise.
I'm not so much afraid of judgement as I am facing my own reality. For me to write my thoughts/feelings/experiences, I have to first acknowledge their existence. Living in denial is wholly unproductive. I don't advise it.
Having said that: I have moved past the denial and I have been writing. I'm just afraid to upload them, they definitely reflect how dIffIcult It Is to break through denial and suppression.
I'm glad that your poetry exists. Absolutely. That, I've said is why I admire you so.
You haven't? I am disappointed. Start with the modern stuff - that's the best.
Then learn to refine it into something better. Cut out all the crap.
Oh, out of curiosity, if I was to release a PDF containing unreleased poems, would you purchase it? It would be a 'donate what you want' thing - with like a £1.00 / $2.00 minimum. Your thoughts? I'm trying to gauge a consensus here...
I was dragged in from the preview. I saw 'mane' and realised that I needed to read this. It was so hooking and bitter. At the same time it was almost as though you were taking the piss. Excuse my swears but you can fucking write.
I think this one is - in truth - a bit of a piss-take of the erotic genre as a whole. Then again, most of my stuff is. I'm of the school where subtlety is better than just giving you the answer; but I've been easing up a little recently in pieces like 'Boy.' and 'Insulin.' - and people seem to like having a balance of understandable stuff and vague lines.
Don't hold back on the swearing; I fucking don't. Plus, swearing can be sexy when used in the right context. The "fucking" in the poem is just perfect in so many ways.
Wanted to slip an animal analogy in... I think it works...
Balance is very important to me as a poet and a standard writer. Keeping your audience interested is a challenge.
You can laugh - but I would be lying if I said I haven't ever got a little aroused from a particularly strong poem. I think that the right chain of words can get anybody in the loop; if they want to feel good, that is.