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(Contains: sexual themes and violence/gore)

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Edit: A Daily Deviation? Many thanks to all of those involved.
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Daily Deviation

Given 2012-11-15
Boy. is a poem that punches the reader with that first line and leaves them out of breath for the entirety of the experience. The writer, *JakesException is someone not to be glanced over or underestimated. A lot of us could stand to learn a thing or two from his gallery full of work that has a mentality of 'in your face and deal with it' badassery. ( Featured by Nichrysalis )
:iconwei-en:
wei-en Featured By Owner Dec 14, 2014
A unique and inspiring mastery over words.
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:iconjenny345:
Jenny345 Featured By Owner Sep 17, 2014
Nicely done. You did not have to take your own life.
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:iconazurenebulae:
AzureNebulae Featured By Owner Sep 11, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Outstanding <3 I love it
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:iconlimtrevor:
limtrevor Featured By Owner Sep 10, 2014
Intersting...
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:iconnichrysalis:
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I can't believe I never revealed what I got from the poem. I still reread it from time to time because it's so well-written.

Translation:

(I masturbate)

one night too many
with heavy breathing
typing with two fingers (holds a double meaning in reference to a form of masturbation)
(that experiment more than you would like)

typing for relief
fiddling out a final request (fiddling being a form of playing the violin that is similar to shrieking as well as meaning 'tinkering with')
of me pleading for release (another double meaning here, as pleading to be released from punishment is a common thing to hear when someone is caught doing something)
Thinking and seeing things in black and white (possibly a reference to animalistic urges: it either turns you on or doesn't)
no one would be at fault for making symptom-sheets public
(I think I'm losing my mind for thinking that)

What do you mean "We'll see about taking things further"?
You abstaining from me (this line also refers to a chastity belt)
has caused me to lose my erection (a reference to the slang term, boner; skeleton could be a reference to the phrase 'skeletons in the closet" which itself has a double meaning)
and rethink if you meant what we did last night
Ejaculating (and breaking the silence, an oxymoron)
into bed-sheets (a reference to the earlier mentioned symptom-sheets, suggesting that what the boy feels is a symptom of something and not a pleasure)
(is a waste of my 4 years of sexual experience)

If you won't help get me off,
I'll masturbate by myself
There are (I like this line because it is representative of two kinds of sex: sadomasochism or someone creating a romantic encounter for their lover)
love handles I can get a grasp on (or literally: pour wax onto)
Only a mouse-click away from our chat (internet porn :|)


It's a lot less fun to read that way :XD: , but that's always what I've got from it plus some meanings I gleaned from the poem just now.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013
I'd say you've hit most of what I was going for with that translation. There were a few things missed out, but nothing major. Shame it took you so long to type this all out, right? XD

(P.S. From the way you wrote that, it sounds like you might have some sexual tension. :P)
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:iconnichrysalis:
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner Mar 1, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
>_>
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:icononyxiusart:
OnyxiusART Featured By Owner Dec 22, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Wow, this is incredible. I have no idea what it's about, because I'm awful at interpreting the written word (I prefer to blanket myself in it and smell its sweet letters one by one) but for whatever reason, my vision is that the man is a depressed rapist, who is the narrator.
I'm sure that's far off, haha.
Any hints? ;)
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Dec 23, 2012
Thank you very much!

[Check the comment section - there's a lot there.]
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:iconshunsuixnanaofan101:
shunsuixnanaofan101 Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
This is a wonderful piece of poetry. The last stanza and the first lines and gripping and strong and haunting in so many ways - and I persoanlly love how, though the stanzas and lines do rhyme, they're not really noticeable especially in the last stanza.

Those lines make me wonder if the narrator means this "setting on fire" as a metaphorical thing, or as something literal.

"Unwaxed love handles" (waxed meaning, supposedly, that they are unable to get a firm hold, unable to get xcloser…), I can only assume, are words that indicate that he is in a one-sided relationship, where the other half of it…fears intimacy? Is scared of him? Something as such, although I'm more inclined to think of fear.

Like he's close - or closer - to snapping, and he knows that, but do they?

It really seems as though you can take this story down two completely different pathways - one of a more metaphorical flame, and one of a realistic one, one that brings pain and uncomfortable heat, rather than pleasure…

This piece was a pleasure and an honor to read; it has a mix of straightforward meaning and then other areas of more unclear definition that keeps you thinking long after you've left the page.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
Thank you for the incredibly in-depth comment.

I love your interpretation; though it was not what I originally intended! However, seeing what other people read into poetry is fascinating, too.

You're correct about the one-sided bit, though.
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:iconshunsuixnanaofan101:
shunsuixnanaofan101 Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
No, no - thank you for posting this piece so that we can all glean something from it.

And now I must wonder - may I ask of your original intentions whilst writing this piece?
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 22, 2012
Oh God.
I could be here for hours trying to describe all the stuff in 'Boy.' Plus, some of it I'm trying to keep secret, so...
<3
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
i love your audacity/poetry/this poem
I think people should be a little more blunt in their writing. Poetry has gone through this awful stage where people think that being completely vague is the best way to go - when in truth, poetry is about sliding fact in with fiction and hiding the lies well.

we should be friends
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
You can be my friend if you like. I'm not picky.
Just drop me a comment or send a Note or something.

I think it's more impressive you actually went through all the comments! That's devotion! <3

Thank you for the feedback.
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
devotion? curiosity! adoration!

of course, of course. i will be reading more of you <3
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
You seem a little eccentric... ¬_¬

That's good to hear. Don't be afraid to ask questions on a piece if you want some help decoding them! <3
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
but i love a good mystery gnawing at me. i like reading your poetry and thinking, you know. but of course. i will keep that in mind.

am i? i think i like that comment, thank you!
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
I like mysteries, but I need to know the answer within a day or so or I start getting the urge to rip things.
We're all crazy, here.
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:iconkaitforest:
KaitForest Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012   Writer
haha, you're right, i'm like that as well.

agreed :nod:
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:iconnackety:
nackety Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Although I sincerely doubt that I really understood this, it's brilliant and beautiful; I love the sense of desperation, agitation, the brink of madness.

Quick question - that "click away" in the last stanza, is that referring to a mouse click or a lighter click?
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Good question - one which nobody has picked up on.

It has two meanings:
> Electronic / Mouse.
> Travelling distance.

Meaning that this poem could be about a long distance relationship or two instead... Hmm... <3
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:iconnackety:
nackety Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
We don't really use "clicks" to measure distance in the Wild West (er, America). :)

I may have skimmed through the comments earlier, and vaguely remember that you alluded to both long-distance relationships and more than one lover before? Hmm indeed.

May I ask if this is autobiographical and if you actually want your work to be publicly dissected?
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
That's why I chose it - make people think a little more diversely. <3

Fair enough.

People may publicly dissect as much of my stuff as they like - I take it as a compliment that fans are willing to look at my stuff in-depth. As for whether it's autobiographical; that's up for speculation. XD
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:iconnackety:
nackety Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
You have a real gift for prose. Very few poems strike such a perfect balance between "the meaning is right there" and "the meaning is <censored> elusive."

Please tell me if I'm looking at the wrong things here -- but "lonely sheets" suggests that, despite all the noise, the narrator is alone. And something in "(delving deeper than you like)" and "'We'll see'" implies that the narrator's partner is less than eager to continue the relationship. I can't decide if "swan song" is intended here to mean climax or last performance, or if the "skeleton's bones" is about something which is in actuality boneless or if it is a reminder of the borderline-psychosis in the second stanza.

Also, I really love that opening line.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
[Isn't prose a term used for stories? I thought it was poetry or prose - as in, poems or stories? Hmm...]

Don't censor yourself. I don't care about swearing.
I think the best thing about poetry is that you can completely change everything with only a few words - purely because you have less space to do stuff in. Thus, hiding stuff and keeping things obvious is much easier and much more fun. Sorry - I'm rambling.

Your thoughts about the one-sided relationship are correct. I would give you a point, but I think that part is pretty easy to find, in truth. However, at least you're going the right way! <3

"Swan song" is the last performance of something, yes.

"Skeleton's bones" is a bit of a weird one. I don't think anybody has quite got it, yet.
Quite a simple thing, really...

A lot of people do... For some reason... :I
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:iconnackety:
nackety Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
[It is. That was a really ridiculous mistake, actually.]

(I have to get in the habit of censoring myself, unfortunately. The day is fast approaching when I will have patients of my very own, and someone who has been hospitalized for a psychiatric disorder does not need to hear their psychologist say "fuck" every other word.) Let's make a deal: Until I figure out what your poem means, I will swear freely and you will not apologize for rambling - because rambling is fun too. =)

Hm... are the keys actually piano keys then?
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Swear as much as you fucking want. I actually kind of hate people who censor themselves in casual conversation. If you had the thought, say it. God... Honestly...

No - they are computer keys in the original draft.

Did you see my new Journal?
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(2 Replies)
:iconnackety:
nackety Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012
Okay, also, I never leave this many comments and have no idea how the smiley thingies work - so please don't be offended/unnerved by any creepy emoticons I happen to use.
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:iconblackfire73:
BlackFire73 Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
The final line set it for me... and really made me think as well. Brilliantly written, I love it when one takes a topic that has been trivialized by society and reveals what truly lies behind it.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece.

Oh, and thanks for the +favs, too.
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:iconcharadas:
charadas Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Wow, what an amazing poem.

I have read it a couple of times and I can't really decide what it is about. Or, rather, I can, but I cannot point it down. The core of the poem is very elusive and all I am left with is feelings and notions... both good and bad ones. It actually makes me feel a bit ill, but I still think it is amazing. I love the lines about the fires, the lock and key and the sounds (I can almost hear them).

*sigh* now I want to run off and write my own poetry and be clever like you, but to no avail, I cannot write poetry, only prose.
Thank you for sharing.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
"It actually makes me feel a bit ill"
Then my work here is done.
I have always wanted to make people feel that with with merely words. It's like a bragging right or something.

Well, if it took me four years to get this good; maybe you should start now so you can be good in 2016? :P
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:iconcharadas:
charadas Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Only four years? That is good. You should be proud.

Haha, thank you for the confidence. Maybe I'll give it a try, to write more, and aim to be (at the least) a better writer 'til 2016.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 29, 2012
I could have been faster... ¬_¬"

Your first stuff will be fucking terrible - trust me - but you'll get so much better randomly after a few years. Your brain just goes OH.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
"Black and white abstract eyes:
Faultless symptom-sheet skies."

I'd love to see somebody try and crack these lines. XD
Best of luck!
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:iconlungscollide:
LungsCollide Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
"Black and white abstract eyes."

The first thing that came to mind were eyes that believed they could perceive everything when in actuality, they were blank, clueless. Black and white seems to create a monotonous effect, but the abstract part creates a separation.

However, a meaning for "abstract" is "difficult to understand." Perhaps the person feels there's something beneath the monotone, but finds it hard to reach.

"Faultless symptom-sheet skies."

First thought here was that one of them was hiding something beneath a facade - "faultless skies" hiding a "symptom" beneath a "sheet" - but that somehow strikes me as "too simple," given the entirety of the writing. Perhaps I am in fact overanalyzing it, but uuugh.

I'll try and think on it some more, but I'm going to take a break from it for now. And you're welcome, by the way.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2012
That is indeed a very interesting analysis!
I'll let you finish your thoughts in the next comment, and then after that I'll come clean. <3
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:iconlungscollide:
LungsCollide Featured By Owner Nov 19, 2012
Uuugh, I spent some time thinking on it today, and the poem in general.

"Black and white abstract eyes."

Black and white can indicate a flashback, a memory. Perhaps the person is thinking of the "abstract eyes" of his partner, and is perhaps lamenting something?

"Faultless symptom-sheet skies."

The only other thought I have for this one is the possibility of knowing that something is wrong, that there is a flaw somewhere, but it's being willingly covered up. But the "symptom" is always there, because it's not gone, it's just smothered.

That's all I have left, probably off base quite a bit.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 20, 2012
Alright, I'm pretty sure everybody is going to want to kill me for this...

"Black and white abstract eyes." has no meaning. At least, no intended meaning.

The second stanza is meant to be a clue that this guy is on the brink of mental collapse and that he cannot be trusted. The last line "(i think i'm losing my mind)" supports this. When I personally had a psychotic break a year or two ago, I ended up spurting words out with no meaning or significance for just under an hour. It was horrifying. Thus, I tried to use that knowledge in the "Black..." line.

However, "Faultless symptom-sheet skies." does have a meaning.

If we are to envisage a sky made up of symptom-sheets, we would feel quite unnerved. A symptom-sheet being the thing a doctor writes his diagnosis on is meant to be personal, after all. So, if the whole sky is plastered with them yet this boy sees that as "faultless"... What does that say about him? He is aware that everything in the world is wrong and that his actions are so insignificant, he may as well do whatever he wants; "(i set my legs on fire)".

At least, those are my interpretations. I actually quite like your black and white idea, though. Considering your symptom-sheet idea was practically there anyway, I'd say you done pretty well!

Well done. <3
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:iconlungscollide:
LungsCollide Featured By Owner Nov 25, 2012
Ahhh, got me there then, haha. Figured I'd read into something either too little, or too much.

Oh, I see. I like how you use your own experiences in your writing, it makes for a nice personal touch.

Even then, it somehow seems "simpler" than mine. Not sure how, it just does. Maybe because I have a hard time conveying simple things with simple sentences. Hm.

Thank you. And thank you for sharing your work, it's really nice to see it all. (:
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 26, 2012
A horrid personal touch, more like.

You're welcome.
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:iconlungscollide:
LungsCollide Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012
To be honest, when I first read it, I was pretty sure it had something to do with masturbation. I keep getting the idea of frustration, a relationship falling apart, ending with one of them choosing to go it alone and satisfying himself to make up for it.

Probably wrong there, but eh. I really did enjoy this, either way. Gave me a nice kick of inspiration.
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:iconjakesexception:
JakesException Featured By Owner Nov 17, 2012
Not completely right, but parts of what you said are accurate. More correct than what some of the others have been guessing! Well done.

Thank you. Feel free to show me.
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:iconuniquelysane:
UniquelySane Featured By Owner Nov 16, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
... I think I get it. Or at least one part of it anyway. Wow. Pain, fustration, eroticism, and confusion all wrapped up in one perfectly abrupt poem.

I think this is one of those things which you need to read more than once ... you gotta do that with all the good stuff, I will never understand the people who never re-read books. Anyway.

Also, this is one of the few deviations here where the comments actually seem worth reading, they (and your responses) helped give a bit of insight on your writing :)
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November 5, 2012
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