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About Deviant Artist Core Member Jake.Male/Unknown Recent Activity
Deviant for 7 Years
Core Member 'til Hell freezes over
Statistics 64 Deviations 10,097 Comments 38,302 Pageviews


Jake Elliott.
3rd of February, 1995 – 8th of May, 2014.


"You clearly know what you are doing with words."
- Antony Dunn. (Newdigate Prize winner, 1995.)

"You've got one hell of a gift. Can't buy that stuff."
- Meg Rosoff. (Carnegie Medal winner, 2007.)





Jake's Last Message.

Journal Entry: Fri May 9, 2014, 3:27 AM

Hello everyone,

    I’ll cut to the chase: If you’re reading this, I’m dead.

    This is no joke, social experiment or publicity stunt – I have passed on. In case of my death, certain people were instructed to spread the message – with this written statement acting as proof. I understand a lot of you reading will assume this is some elaborate scheme for attention; alas, it is not. I have struggled with numerous personal issues from a very young age, and I knew it would only be a certain amount of time before they consumed me. I wanted to end my existence as young as six, but tried to keep going as long as possible. Now, I have dropped to a point where I cannot see the light anymore. Every day is a challenge. Impermanence.


    Recently, I’ve become progressively less interested in my written works and there are an awful lot of unaddressed fears lingering up in this pedantic head of mine. Loads of people on deviantART have been mentally supporting me since early 2011 – and though I have may not kept in touch, I wish each of them the very best for the future and hope that one day they are recognised for their specific talents. It would be unfair to name some individuals and exclude others – suffice it to say that those who really care are likely to leave messages of support anyway – but those who have really assisted my endeavours know who they are. Once again, I thank them for being there during my dark parts and for helping influence my poetry as much as they have.


    As well as persistent mental pain, my physical health has suffered as of late. I’ll avoid details – but grouping all of the negative aspects of my life against the positive ones shows just what little I am living for. I’m aware that taking your own life is supposedly a selfish, cowardly action; but trust me, choosing to conclude your life’s story early is by no means an easy option and one day the general public will learn that. Until then; if I am to be viewed as a weakling, then so be it. I don’t want to blame specific events / ailments for my choice to pursue suicide; but if you are desperate to find reasons supporting the idea, consider the following challenges and their respective impacts: Documented daily bullying throughout education, suppression of sexuality for almost a decade, domestic violence, trust issues, chronic depression, obsessive-compulsive tendencies, negligible self-esteem, constant anxiety in private and social situations and a plethora of other ailments I dare not mention. The point is, realistically, my chance at living a normal life was negligible.


    The fact of the matter is that I have never explicitly told anybody why I want to die – nor do I intend to. This is why I was destined to fail; I could not let go of something. Even now – knowing it is insignificant whether I type it out or not – I still cannot put the words down. I apologise. By no means am I condoning suicide. If you are feeling continually low, please seek help. Use this experience as a learning exercise. Contact a relevant person (for example, a counselling practitioner) who can help you sort out your problems and start some form of treatment. You are all such beautiful, talented people and it would be such a loss to see anybody mimicking my poor decisions. Each and every one of you deserves to succeed in some capacity and hopefully you will with time. For the moment, Elijah will be glancing over my page and responding to comments / Notes; but please don’t bombard him with countless questions. Elijah is doing this as an immense favour to me when he doesn’t have to and he honestly does not know even half of the story.


    Once again – thank you to everyone who made my life even a little bit more enjoyable near the end. You’re all brilliant people and I hope Earth treats you a little better than it did me. Who knows; maybe I’ll see you on the other side. Until then, much love.


    - Jake. x


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ThePastIsNevermore Featured By Owner Aug 31, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
I still miss you, Jake. Lord, what I'd give to be able to talk to you again, to tell you how much everything has changed. I pray you're no longer hurting, and you've found peace. I wish I had been able to speak to you more before you passed. Sigh. Love you, Jake.
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner Aug 6, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
I hope if there is, it does too. I would have considered myself close to Jake. But we had a falling out and four months later, he wasn't here anymore. In fact, I'm pretty sure one of the poems posted on dA posthumously has a part directed at me.
MatieuCanadaWilliams Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
i find myself doing the same often. i was never close with jake, either - i very rarely spoke with him, even while avidly reading his pieces and journals.
i regret not becoming a good friend to him while i had the chance. occasionally just the way certain things are written or said will jar a memory of something he wrote or something he may find amusing.

i think a lot of us in the writing community really miss jake. not everyone was social with him, but he had a lot of watchers who cared. if there's any sort of afterlife or reincarnation or what have you, i hope it treats jake well - he deserves it.
Nichrysalis Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2015  Hobbyist Writer
Mine too. Thought about him today. He had such a specific edginess to him that whenever I think of something that was his type of humor or way of speaking, I think of him. Today, I thought of something as a smartass comment but never said it at work, and I realized I still miss Jake a lot. :(
MatieuCanadaWilliams Featured By Owner Jul 28, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
one year, two months, and twenty days.

and my heart still aches.

rest well.
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